Oh My God!

I think I'm going to be able to talk about this without jinxing it, particularly since I'll be up most of the night to make sure I'm not dreaming, and nothing shifty goes on.

Tonight we, the majority of Americans and the majority of the electoral college (whatever the hell that is), elected the first black president of the United States. I'm speechless, happy, tearful, and (to confess) was a little drunk earlier because it was the only way I could survive the night. I took a (large) shot of some pomegranate vodka when most stations called Pennsylvania (that was scaring me) and then another when they called Ohio, and then another when they called the race.

I never, never NEVER thought I would see this in my lifetime. I expected a woman to be elected, sometime in my life. I never, never NEVER thought I would see a black man in office. Why do I say this? Because I've seen racism from the ground up, in my life working with so many people during my laboring time who were so clearly, fully, completely racist. I think it's bigger than anyone realizes, except for those who've lived it (and I obviously haven't lived it, but I see it).

I did have an odd sense of hope when my Dad's Uncle, while my Mom and Dad were visiting him, called Obama the "n" word but, in the same breath (which could have been his last), hoped that he would live to vote for him. That amazed me and made me wonder...I guess I thought of it as the reverse Bradley effect (which, knowing what that means, illustrates how much time I've secretly given to this campaign, in my online research).

BUT (confession) I've been scared ever since that bitch Sarah Palin gave that fetid, nasty Republican Convention speech and everyone fawned over her. (Not everyone, but you get the gist.) Only Huffingtonpost.com has kept me sane (and tonight, liquor, but that's rare, and it was self medication, you can't believe how tightly wound I have been today, the bathroom is beyond spotless, ask David).

I didn't think I'd be feeling this good tonight. And, to mirror Michelle Obama's words, which I understood back when she said them, and though not for the first time, I am proud of my country. It's definitely one of the best prouds ever!

Even better because from what I hear and read, President Elect Barack Obama has not been elected with much relation to his status as the "black man," but because he was the best man, the best person for the job. Because he was steadfast and amazing, and God (that's not in vain) the man gives speeches I don't just hear, but feel (did you hear his acceptance speech, again, my God!), and I think when the world looks on him they will be stymied, STYMIED that we did this, we put a different face on the world map, one that reflects the best of who we can and should be. It's no longer just a long line up of white men! Now it's the America I want!

It's just amazing. And I'm sober now. And I've definitely had a lot of tears.

More later!