Toys R Oz

Continuing the Black Friday saga, finally, with the note that I'm not referring to the Dorothy type Oz, but the Showtime type Oz.

After the Denny's Breakfast Fiasco we drove back to Mom and Dad's house, because Dad hadn't eaten lunch, though apparently was able to make his own lunch, though it was a SPAM sandwich, so I don't know if it really counts as nutrition. Everyone in my family except, you guessed it, me, loves SPAM and fried bologna. Yeah, fried bologna, which, after I read Fall On Your Knees I learned is actually Cape Breton Steak. Not sure I needed that knowledge, as it's not one of my faves, but it's fun to refer to it as that.

We got to Mom and Dad's after collecting one of Armanae's friends, and, after a brief respite (bathroom, etc.) we set back out on the journey. Eventually the journey would involve the dreaded Walmart (note that they are taking the hyphen away, I guess because it looks classier?). I also hate Walmart, and I think everyone in my family does as well, but it seems to be easy for them to go to. Or else it's just routine. I don't know. Maybe if I had five kids it would make a difference, and my attitude would do a 180 degree happy face turnaround. Maybe not.

BUT the real treasure of the trip was Toys R Us. It really wasn't that busy, though there were enough people with carts full of stuff that it did look Black Friday-ish. As we wandered around looking I noticed blue arrows taped on the floor, but there were no signs indicating what they meant. In fact, there were lots of reasonably clueless employees who didn't bother to make much effort regarding their personal appearance. Basically it looked like they just rolled out of bed.

Now before you think I'm being horribly elitist again, or that I'm a spoiled brat (only my Mom can call me that) let me remind you that I worked at BEALL'S, America's Small Town Specialty Retailer, for five years. And in those five years, I had a few early Black Fridays. How did I look? Spiffy. Polished. Sometimes I'd have raging sinus infections (Midland does that to me) or flat out colds, and I might be cranky to everyone right before the doors opened. But when the doors opened and those glorious customers came looking for the cheap ass jr girls watches prominently featured in the ad, of which we maybe had 10, I was a pretty boy for them and loving, caring and considerate of their needs. It may have been 5 years of acting (not always, I do like some people!) but it was a damn good acting job!

Ok, so, back to Toys R Us. I found some Cars cars for Mom, who is still collecting the new ones, and then she found a black baby doll and fell in love with it, because it reminded her of a baby doll from her childhood. (Another aside...my sister has always been multicultural in her approach to baby dolls, both girls and also the boys have had dolls of various ethnicities, which of course still turns heads in Midland, Texas.)

Anyhow...we rolled up to the front to get in what didn't look to be horrible lines. Well, while there, another just rolled out of bed employee, a woman with a walkie talkie, pretty much accosted us "what are you doing?" and we're like "going to buy these" and she's like "well you have to get in line" we were like "we're going to the registers, the line" and she's like "no you have to get in the line" and my Mom's like "where is the line?" and the just out of bed walkie talkie empowered employee says "you have to get in the line back in the children's department" at which point we sort of all look at each other incredulously, because there were not enough people shopping to justify this lock down, and I tossed the merchandise on the nearest table.

This too is against all my training, I typically make anyone I'm with go and put something back where it belongs, because I also know how it is to find a woman's bra hanging with track pants for young men. But in this case, because of the lock down, and the rudeness, and the sheer Alice in Wonderland Queen of Hearts stupidity, I didn't mind.

Then we were just going to leave, and we all seriously thought she was going to frisk us or something. I've been through LAX a few times, and didn't feel that intimidated!

I don't know what it was all about, but, seriously gang, it's a TOY STORE. You can't make it hell for people. You can't put them in solitary. And, again, a good attitude will go a looooong way, no matter what the situation. Also it helps if employees look professional. But, above all, don't act like you're security for the president-elect.

It's just a toy store, dammit!

:)