Friday, October 17, 2008

Because I should be sleeping

Instead I'll write something. I'm not sure the iPhone business was of tremendous import, but then again I've never really figured out who I'm writing this for, possibly just me, so, I'll write what arrives in my head.

Earlier I was thinking about the changes in my life, quite a few, with not even a year gone by since the "onset" of the changes. Eek...sounds like puberty. No, of course I'm referring to the fact that it still hasn't been a year since, after 3 or so years of plans, I took the plunge and moved to Los Angeles. Within the space of that not quite finished year I spent 6 months trying to make it work, alone and in tandem with others, but mostly alone. Then the Baldessari dropped and I decided yeah, that gnawing, dark, moody feeling really was unhappiness, and since I didn't have anything like a support group, and since LA wasn't the place I thought it would be, I made the decision to make Austin my new home.

So the LA move was November the 2nd, 2007. Around this time last year I was wrapping up my Halloween Saints contest, which went pretty well, though I think it's the first and only "annual" contest, I'm just not caught up enough with myself to do it again, and I don't know if I'd get any responses anyhow.

Also around this time last year, well, actually I couldn't even tell you if I'd committed to the "loft room" (GARAGE not even properly converted dearies) or not at that time. But by the 2nd I was there, gosh golly gee.

Come First of May, 2008, my stuff was headed back East to West (there's another story, the movers, urgh) and then so was I right behind. Hard to believe I did that LA move business to and fro, or that I made the move so quickly out from West to East to Austin as solidly and quickly as I did. I say that since I'm not Mr. Intrepid, and I can sit on an idea or plan for a long time.

In fact, confession here, lots of things in the world scare the hell out of me, more than they should. Undoubtedly I've got some neurons that misfire quite a bit, and they sometimes keep me safe, but too safe, and that fear is far from a crutch, it's a deadbolt on this side of the door, the one that keeps me in the beautiful room of my mind where I hide.

To be sure, this works to create some fantastic realms (at least to me) in my mind, that have been manifest physically. But still, I know the problem I need to solve is unlocking that deadbolt and getting those ideas out. I will say I don't believe LA was the place for them, as my creativity was zero...zero? (deer in headlights blink blink)...zero! Here's hoping Austin sees the better part of that raging creative madman, the one who kept Sarah, Nick and Becky guessing as to what in the world, or out of the world, he was gonna commit from his head, to paper, next.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see new work.

Becky said...

The peeks I've had of this new world were so fun! (yes odd at times) We miss you Gabe! Sad to say we haven't had any drawdlin times since you left. I guess I need to do them anyway in hopes that someone joins us. :)